Chapter Three

ASHA
Pressure. Pressure. Small pricks against my skin. Cold. Why am I cold? Nanda is in lessons, and is as confused by the sensations surrounding me as I am. Elene is with Bastian. Distracted, warm. Neither of them are what I am looking for and I came looking for something—pressure—but now everything is jumbled.

Water in my eyes tells me they are open. I am looking up at the sky full of clouds and there is rain. Cold—pressure—that must be why—pressure—I am cold. Everyone is sleepy because of it, indoors, reading or talking or playing with their wristbands which I still do not understand. Pressure. Millions of dots against my skin like the minds in the dorms around me, but at this distance they all feel the same and I cannot figure out why I am here. Why can no one tell me?

I latch on to someone nearby and have a fit of double-vision as I see me through them. Sitting in the middle of the path. Clothes soaked. Nipples showing through the shirt-cloth. Legs splayed like a filly still mastering walking. Eyes vacant. I hear a voice as I think the words it says.

“Oh, perfect. Asha, is that you?”

Cannot answer my own question. Pressure. I crouch down on the path and place my hands on my cheeks. I feel cold to my touch and I am worried I am going to get sick if I do not get me out of the rain soon.

“Asha?” I pat the side of my face gently and suddenly I am two people again. Pressure. Pressure.

“Asha, focus on me. Come on.”

Spots. Cannot be Elene because she is inside and female. Spots are freckles and I do not know very many people with those but I do I know these hands.

“Remember me? You're freezing, honey. Mind if I cover you up?”

My head shakes back and forth as my teeth begin to chatter. He makes rustling noises and soon his jacket is off and around my shoulders. I am enveloped by his scent and I cannot feel the rain anymore. The smell of him triggers memories I could not recall on my own.

“Keven?” says my voice.

He gives me a relieved smile and wipes water off of my forehead with his thumb. “What are you doing out here?”

“Looking for someone.”

“Who?”

“I do not know.” I shake my head back and forth again and get water on his jacket. Everything is damp and smells alive. My teeth begin to annoy me with their chattering but at least they keep me focused.

He sighs and gathers me up in his arms. I am so light that he could throw me or hold me with one arm. I make him feel powerful. He gives me a smile to reassure me and then starts walking toward the dorm. I lean against his chest and close my eyes, feeling him exist around me and making me become a child again.

“You are right,” I mutter.

“Hmmm?”

“Your smile does reassure me.”

Suddenly he is embarrassed and he closes himself off like Reid, but I was expecting it so he does not seem to disappear like last time. Desmond would be proud of how much I have learned already.

He sets me down when we are in Hanakawa and bends to remove my sodden shoes. My toes are chilly and wrinkled from all the water that had pooled inside them.

“Asha, where are your socks?”

I do not answer because I am not sure what socks are and I cannot find out if he has closed himself off. He seems to sense the problem because suddenly he is back and I know what he knows. Before I can tell him that I do not own any Diane floods us both with her presence. I shiver again but not from the rain.

“Oh, Keven. I see you've found the savage.”

My spine straightens and one shoulder drops derisively. “And we've found the bitch.” Keven is embarrassed and I realize that was his thought, his body. My knees buckle and he catches me in his arms again.

“Funny, that looked a lot like you,” Diane says to Keven. He shrugs and shoves past her with me in tow and I feel a wave of nausea as they fight each other in my mind.

“Elene, are you here?” he calls loudly. There is a pounding noise coming from the stairs, and she appears with Bastian not far behind. “Oh, no! Asha, what were you doing? What was I doing? Why didn't I notice?” She brings both hands to her mouth in dismay and runs off to get a towel before Keven can ask her aloud. Bastian studies the situation for a moment, shakes his head, and is off to my room for clean clothes.

Keven raises my hands over my head and begins to peel my shirt away from my skin.

“Oh, you are not stripping her in the middle of the living room!” Diane spits.

“If you don't like it, leave.” There is a pause, and I stumble mentally as his thoughts grow guarded again. “I... did expect she would be wearing underwear, though.” My naked torso protests against the air and I shiver again. He throws his jacket back over me and begins to unbutton my pants.

“Like I said. Savage.” Diane side-steps my shirt and heads for the stairs, almost running into Bastian. Another wave of nausea. Every time Diane is around I feel sick because I hate me and everyone else. Her mind is like a poison but I cannot stay out of it even though she yells and yells. Distance helps at least, and as her body leaves her small mind grows faint and I am left in the warmth of the ones I care about. Elene bounds from the lavatory with my towel and removes Keven's jacket carelessly. I close my eyes and let her dry me off as Keven leaves the room with my clothes and Bastian takes a seat on a cushion, gently wrapping his mind with mine and closing his eyes.

They want to know what I was doing but I do not know. All I remember is rain and how cold I am now. Elene wrings my braid out, leaving a thick pool of water on the tile as Keven wanders back in feeling awkward.

“We're used to it,” Bastian says with a smile. “I've only seen her three times since she arrived, and she was clothed for exactly one of them.”

“I am sorry,” I say. “I forget!”

Elene stifles a giggle and pulls a fresh shirt over my head. “Where is her other outfit, Keven?” She hands me dry pants and uses the jacket as a screen so I can step into them while no one sees. This does not make him any less nervous since he knows I am still naked.

“I threw it on the desaturator.”

“Oh, good. Asha, sit down with them, I am going to make you some tea and get you warmed up.” She gives Keven back his jacket and wraps a fresh towel around my head, twining it with my braid, before shoving me toward the cushions. I sit down and Keven tosses his jacket back over my shoulders.

“Need to keep you warm. How long were you out there?”

I shake my head and do not reply because I am too busy remembering. Bastian speaks for me. “Her memories are pretty jumbled up until you found her. Think she was trying to track down an empath and overwhelmed herself, personally.”

“An empath? Forgive my ignorance, but can't you all find each other quite easily?” Keven asks, watching Elene arrive with several mugs balanced carefully in her hands. In her mind she drops them but they are safely delivered to us. I wrap my hands around mine and inhale the steam gratefully.

“Sure, we Twos can,” Bastian says lazily, offering Elene a seat beside him. “But she can feel everyone, lots farther than we can. Not as easy for her.” They all look at me then and I should probably contribute something but my head is so full of their minds that there is nothing for me to say that they do not already know. Keven puts a hand on my head and smiles at me again.

“It's confusing in there, isn't it?”

“You handle me well.”

“Like I said when we met. Training. I want to be a Teacher someday.”

I drink my tea and learn what he thinks he would be like. He is not far off from the truth, in my opinion, so I smile at him.

In my opinion! Elene's eyes meet mine and we both are happy. I am not used to having my own opinions.

“You pulled yourself together a lot faster than the last time we met, Asha,” Bastian observes.

“She's got the best Teacher at the University,” Keven says.

“And I know you all. I can tell what is me and what is not better than in a crowd of strangers.” I take another sip of tea and enjoy the sensation of it warming my throat.

“Well, I also think not being around Reid has a lot to do with it,” Bastian continues. The first time I met him was when I fainted in the cafeteria. He does not like Reid, no matter what Elene and I think or say. I know why but I do not understand it. I have been meaning to ask but I do not know the right words yet. Desmond tells me these things will get easier with time but I am getting bored of being patient.

“She knows Reid?” Keven asks with a surprise that makes my pulse increase. I put my tea down before I drop it and pull his jacket around me more tightly to fight off the coldness in his words.

Elene nods and gives Bastian a warning look that I would have missed the significance of a week ago. “Yes, she does. They met the same day you did.”

“Hah. How did that go?”

“Actually, he's nice to her.”

“Elene, he let her faint into the buffet,” Bastian cuts in, but she puts a hand over his mouth.

“I like him,” I say quietly, and reach for my mug again. Keven's thoughts are somewhat hidden but I can sense his displeasure. “Why does that bother you?”

He starts in his seat and looks up at me guiltily. “I—what?”

“Yes, why does that bother you?” comes a low voice from the entryway. Reid is standing with his shoes off. He must have been there for a long time which is why Bastian and Keven are so awkward. I smile at Reid and gesture at the free cushion to my left. He walks over and sits down uncomfortably and I take a sip of tea. Its flavor reassures me.

“Don't worry, Keven, this isn't a social call. Nanda asked me to come make sure she was alright.”

Bastian snorts. “Must be naive to trust someone like you.”

Emotions surge. Elene is annoyed with Bastian who is angry at Reid for breathing but Keven is secretly amused at the fighting. My hands shake and the mug falls against the carpeting and sends tea seeping into the cloth. I crumple against myself in frustration. Hands reach in to reassure me. New hands. Long, thin fingers, a gentle grip, less occupied with manliness. Reid's hands. He quietly removes the towel from my hair and leans down to sop up the mess.

“Which of you two is responsible for that?” he asks Bastian and Keven, but neither of them answer and I am too dizzy to tell him it is both of them. Reid leaves the towel on the carpet and sits up to deal with me. His arm pulls me to him and his hand slides under Keven's jacket to get at my back, moving in long slow strokes up and down, giving me a focus. The motions are familiar to him even though he has never used them on me.

“Ignore them, focus on this. Focus on me. Stay you,” he murmurs into my ear, lips so close they brush my skin. I shut my eyes and follow his directions. He must have listened when Caroline yelled at him about helping me in large crowds.

“Get your hands off her,” Keven says quietly to Reid.

“Keven, no, listen, he's—” Elene begins, and I groan and bury my face against Reid's shoulder, burrowing into the cloth and trying to get away but they are in my head—

“Get your hands off her,” Keven repeats softly and half-rises from his cushion.

“You going to hit me?” Reid asks with his voice sharp in my ear as he tightens his arms around me. “Isn't this what you were doing earlier, or were you actually trying to flirt with her?” There is something in his voice I do not like but I cannot see his face so I do not know what he is thinking.

“Reid,” Bastian cuts in gently. “Is counterproductive to calm her down and antagonize someone else at the same time.”

Keven looks at me and I see myself in his eyes, naked and soaking wet in his arms as I was minutes before and suddenly I understand why people keep telling me I need to be dressed. People see me naked and they think about sex and I would have understood if privacy had not kept them from coming out and telling me the problem. Privacy keeps getting in the way of my learning. I shudder and Keven drops his eyes because he knows I know he wants me back in his arms. Reid whispers in my ear again and keeps me calm with his hand on my back. After a minute his rhythm slows and I feel him looking at the door.

“Yes?” he asks, his voice vibrating against me.

“I'm looking for Asha,” replies a new man. Strange face, strange skin, strange person, bur someone Desmond knows. I'm out of Reid's arms in a flash and Keven's jacket crumples to the floor. He smiles as he sees me stand and his mind reaches out to mine with a strength I have never felt from anyone else. He is like me. He is Seamus, but he is also me and as we collide into a hug I hear him laugh. We fall in a tangle of arms-legs-hair-light and my vision fills with his memories just as he sees my father for the first time. By the time we land we have known each other since the day we were born.

“And how long have they been friends?” Keven asks Bastian, who shrugs.

“They've never met!” Elene tells them both.

“Hello, Seamus,” Reid offers, and I am pleased to find we like Reid. We had classes with him the last three years and he always adds good points to our discussions. No. I have not had classes yet. It is Seamus' turn to be confused.

“Would you two like to, uh, get up and join us?” Bastian asks.

We laugh and move for the cushions but it is difficult to stay focused like we usually do in a crowd. He is clenching and unclenching his left fist and I am rubbing at my scar but we are focusing on the other's focus and it is too confusing.

“Wow, I wasn't expecting it to be this hard!” he tells me, eyes smiling in his dark skin. Darker than mine. For the first time I do not feel like an outcast in my own body. Elene and Bastian laugh, but Reid and Keven are confused.

“They are having problems keeping their thoughts separated,” Elene says with a giggle, but the other two find it less than funny. I give up and crawl over against his feet and he wraps his arms around me obligingly. Instantly we can think more clearly.

“Well,” Keven says, rising from his spot on the floor. “I can tell this is a party I was born to be excluded from. Asha, when you have time, you should track me down so we can catch up.” He taps his wristband and heads for the door. Seamus is thinking furiously as he goes but I do not understand what he means.

As Keven walks out the door I turn to Reid and ask “What is a womanizer?”

His answer is the happiest laugh we have ever heard him produce. Seamus explains as Reid calms down and I bat at his knees for not letting me know before I asked the question aloud. I flash back to Keven holding me naked in the living room and feel suddenly ashamed, but Bastian-Elene-Seamus say it is different because I did not know. It is always different because I do not know. My ignorance is making me one big exception.

“So Seamus, I have to ask. Why'd it take you so long to find Asha?” Reid looks at us both with interest.
We separate so he can find words and my back becomes cold. “Desmond told me about her a few weeks ago, and today... I felt her looking for me. I've never felt someone else like me. It's the most....” he trails off and we smile at Reid.

“Her mannerisms don't do much for you,” he observes. “That'll go away when you two split up, right?”

“If we can,” I tell him. “I have a hard enough time keeping separate from Nanda and Elene.”

“And you don't mind that?”

“Why should we?” we reply, and Reid shudders in response.

“Don't you want your individuality?”

We are trying to understand his question when there is an animal noise from the stairs. Diane is standing on the bottom landing, and when she sees us all looking at her she starts sobbing. Elene is up instantly, arms around her, guiding her toward a chair. Bastian moves to the kitchen to get her a glass of water and Reid seems to fold in on himself which is strange to see someone tall and narrow do. I separate from Seamus completely and sit between them so they feel less wrong for being here.

“Diane, honey, what's wrong?” Elene asks quietly.

She points to the monitor panel embedded in the far wall. “Turn it on.”
Bastian hands her the water and moves to the power button. As one, we shift to listen. I understand only half the words but the meaning burns through me.

“—Midbaran government has officially closed its borders to all empaths today in the first global segregative legislative act enacted within the Consortium. The planet's parliament voted almost unanimously to prohibit immigration of empathic humans, as well to as enact a plan that will have all current empaths deported from the planet within the next year. Sources have yet to report on what effect this will have upon half-empathic families, or empathic children born to non-empathic parents. Where the planet is planning on sending its deportees is also unknown. Kiran has already issued a notice stating its borders are open to any and all refugees for as long as they require, and the University has also offered its resources to those in need. Contacts are in place at all ports on Kiran for those who need assistance finding new homes. We repeat, the Midbaran government—”

Bastian stops the voice with a slam of his fist so we can sit in silence.

“My entire family was just evicted from the Capital,” Diane whispers. “They weren't even allowed to take their things!”

Elene wraps her arms around her and for once Diane to welcomes the comfort. “I-I don't have a home anymore! Where...where are they going to go?”

“Have them come here,” Bastian says quietly. Reid nods. “Be treated much better here than on Newearth, trust me.”

“They sent me a message right before they were forced into a shuttle. It got cut off. I have no way of knowing where they went.”

“Contact your Teacher, Diane,” Elene urges. “The Fleet will be looking for families of Midbaran students, you know it, and Caroline can help. They can come here and stay on Kiran while you finish your training.”

She gives a heavy sob and downs her glass of water. I start shaking but Reid and Seamus both put an arm around me. I stay calm for Diane. This is no time to lose control. This is no time to lose control. I stay calm for Diane.

“What am I going to do until they're found?” Her dark eyes are thick with the tears she is trying to fight back.

“They... said there would be a camp here, yes?” I ask in a voice that sounds surprisingly normal.

Diane nods at me.

“So go help there until you have your family. Other people will need just as much.”

Her mouth opens. Closes. She stands. “You're right. I am going to do that before I go insane. I'll go find Caroline and make sure they know I want to help set up.”

Seamus gives me a hug and stands, too. “Let's all go. We can all help. Besides, we're all outcasts now, in a way. An entire planet closed off to us—that's a new one. I thought it would always be just jobs, you know?”

Everyone is nodding and standing so I stand too. I want to help. I want to figure out what is going on. But as I turn to the stairs to collect a dry pair of shoes I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder and turn to see Elene feeling sad.

“Asha, you know you can't go.”

“I want to!” Emotions seep out of the cracks in my calmness.

“There will be too many people there.”

“But Elene, I do not understand what is going on and I need to know why everyone is so upset and if I do not go I will not find out—“

“Oh, shut up, you savant!” Diane shrieks and spins to face me. Her anger hits me like a blow and I fall to the floor. Seamus catches her by the arms and half-drags her to the door before she can get closer. Elene and Bastian move to help me but Reid is already there.

“No,” he says when Elene starts to speak. “Go with them. Told Nanda I'd stay with her, and I'm no philanthropist. I'll talk to her.”

“That's what I'm afraid of,” Bastian mutters, but Elene shakes her head and hauls him out the door by his arm, leaving Reid and I in a pile on the floor. I realize I am clutching my head and shaking.

“Asha.” He runs a hand over my hair with the same practiced motion I had noticed before.

“Desmond. I need to talk to Desmond.”

“Something makes me doubt that.”

“What jobs can we not do? What other rules are different for us? Why did he not tell me? Why did the recruiter not tell me?”

“Asha, I don't think they thought you were ready.”

“That is my decision!” My voice is much too loud for two people.

He sighs and pulls my hands away from my face. “Look at me.” He shakes my wrists when I do not. “Look at me!”

Our eyes meet and all the anger drains out of me. He looks tired. None of this is not news for my friends. This is something they have known all their lives. His eyes fill me with a familiar pain that I wished I did not understand.

“Back home, I was the only outcast. But here it is all of us, is it not?” I whisper. He nods.“Tell me.” He shakes his head. I free one of my hands and smack him as hard as I can across the face. “Tell me! I am tired of not knowing anything!”

“Asha, it's not my—“ he starts, but I cut him off.

“Reid, are you my friend or not?”

He looks away and does not answer.

“Fine. Then I am finding Desmond.” I rise shakily and head for the door. The world is swimming but the rain will cool my face and make everything calm again. All I have to do is get there. The entryway sways as I near it.

“Asha, you can barely walk, get back here!” He reaches for me and I slap him again. Anger flares in his eyes and we topple to the floor together. He pins me easily with his weight. I struggle against him but he has me by the wrists and manages to keep me down with relatively little effort on his part. I cannot move. I cannot free myself. I have fought a leopard and lived, but this boy-child has me completely trapped. He has never had to hunt. Probably never killed. And I am below him simply because he weighs more. This planet makes no sense.

His eyes find mine and he lets my hands go cautiously. “Hit me again and I'll hit you back. This is your only warning. We're not talking and we're not going anywhere 'til you've calmed down.” His chest presses into mine painfully as he attempts to get his breathing under control. I feel his anger mingle with mine and realize with shock that he is so upset I can read him. I raise my hand to strike at him again but just as quickly as it came the urge leaves me and I begin to cry.

I cry even harder when he hugs me to him.



REID
Time to give up and admit I won't be sleeping. Each time I dream I see her, naked in the living room of Hanakawa, dripping wet and shivering. She's filled out since we met; our planet's food has put a softening layer over the tense muscle she arrived with. She's softer, her shirts even more alluring now that it's obvious they are hiding something beautiful. Good to see a life of malnutrition can be so easily remedied, though I wish I hadn't been given quite so clear a view of her soaking wet, being dried off to by her friends like some sort of princess. I hate Nanda for messaging me and asking me to go find her yesterday. Keven had gotten there first, anyway, and if I hadn't shown up at all I wouldn't have had to see her naked. Wouldn't have had to pin her to the floor to keep her from hitting me. Wouldn't be awake now. I check my wristband and collapse back into my pillows, furious with myself.

When I walked into the entryway I was transfixed because she was so unaware, so confident. No, not confident. She simply did not care that Bastian and Keven were quietly slavering over her lithe little body, though there was no possible way she could have been oblivious to their thoughts. Then I found their discomfort amusing. Now, I'm more sympathetic, which is infuriating. Every time I shut my eyes I replay that scene, only I am the one toweling her off, not Elene. If I use a towel at all. More often than not I'm using my tongue, sliding it over her damp skin, making her groan, not caring who else is watching. More often than not, I jolt awake as my back hits the clammy tile of their living room, one of her legs on either side of my hips, mouth open, eyes hazed, hair loose, consuming us both.

The room is hot. The bed is hot. I am hot. I stumble for the bathroom and splash cold water on my face, glad of my roommate's absence. Far too aware of my own body to be comfortable around others, especially after a night of those dreams. My wristband says the cafeteria is just now opening. Desmond stops in every morning around now to get whatever the fuck the Kiranese eat for breakfast and ducks out before the students arrive. My instincts tell me to go back to bed. He's not going to be happy at the message I'm supposed to pass on, and it's not like I owe Nanda. Asha is not worth the effort it takes to be nice. To pretend I give a fuck when all I want to to is rip her shirt off and sink my teeth into her skin to get revenge for the mark she's left on me.

Too bad no one else has struck me as interesting in quite some time. So I dig through the pile of clothing on my floor to find something that might be clean and stumble out the door into yet more rain when I don't have classes for another three hours. For now, watching her is still worth gaining Nanda's trust. When it gets to be more of a hassle, I'll stop talking to them. I've done this plenty of times with others who stopped being worth it. Will be a good life lesson for them both.

The cafeteria is damp and soggy from the rain. Wonder whose idiot idea it was to make all the buildings so open to the air. At least the coffee is fresh this early. I grab a mug and head over to the corner table Desmond has claimed for himself. He's sitting there, checking the news feeds on his wristband and eating dry toast. No wonder the man still looks like he's made of rock.

“Excuse me, sir? May I sit with you?” He looks up at me in surprise, and I am caught by a piercing blue stare made more noticeable by the streaks of grey beginning to creep into the brown of his hair. Have never actually seen Desmond up close. His skin has an olive, almost Midbaran cast, and he is clean-shaven. It makes sense that he spent so many of his years in the Fleet working with the Natives: his looks would blend in better than most. We study each other for a moment before he answers.

“Reid, is it?” He gestures at the chair across from him. I sit down wordlessly and we both sip our drinks.

“What can I help you with?” he asks, taking another bite of toast.

“I was up early, saw you, and thought I'd come talk to you. I assume you know what happened last night, since you're reading the feeds.”

He sighs and runs his hands through the grey streaks in his hair. “Yes. I was up all night setting up space and services for all the refugees we are expecting. Anything specific on your mind?”

He's direct, I'll give him that. Time to drop the pretense. “I thought you should know Asha found out last night, as well.”

He blinks at me. “Should I be surprised by this?”

“She's angry at you.”

He sets the toast down on his plate and gives me a candid stare. “And how do you know this?”

“I was the one who had to calm her down.”

Desmond leans back in his chair and steeples his fingers. “Reid, specifics please.”

“Nanda asked me to keep an eye on her while he was in class since she seems to have decided she likes me. Diane got the news about her family while I was over there, and it hit Asha hard. She feels like you left her in the dark.”

“I did leave her in the dark,” he admits with no hint of guilt.

The serene expression on his face is irritating. “Well, Desmond, that was a mistake, because now she doesn't trust you.”

“Don't take that tone with me, Reid. Do you think you know what's best for her?”

I lean forward and quit trying to be polite. Clearly he knows better. “Think I 've a much clearer idea than you do. This conversation's only proving me right.”

He takes a sip of tea. “I feel no need to explain my reasoning to you.”

“I'm asking anyway.”

“She wasn't ready to handle it.”

“Said to me last night that it's her decision, not yours.”

He shakes his head. “I'm her Teacher.”

“Right. Her Teacher, not her father.” He's offended, but I continue. “She's been able to make her own decisions for two years, according to law.” I drain my coffee and don't slam the mug onto the table.

“Does she seem eighteen to you?”

Can't help but think of her naked in the middle of their blue-tiled hallway. I swallow and instantly regret it. Desmond reads my reaction clearly. “Mentally. Does she seem eighteen to you?”

“Still her decision.”

“I beg to differ. She can't make decisions yet.”

“With all due respect, Desmond, how do you know that if you won't let her?”

He slams his fist against the table and sends a spoon clattering onto the floor. “Drop the pretense, Reid.”

“Fine. With any due respect, how the fuck would you know?”

“If she can't even decide where she wants our meetings to be held, how is she supposed to make an informed decision about her education?”

“Not the same thing at all. She decided to come here, didn't she?”

He actually pauses and considers what I have said. Too bad it doesn't change his mind.

“Reid. I've been talking about you with Caroline. I know Asha has been sitting in on your lessons. I know Nanda is placing his trust in you. But that does not give you the right to come and challenge me and my practices.”

“Only came here to warn you that Asha doesn't want to speak to you. The rest of this is just a bonus.”

“I should have been the first one she wanted to speak to. I suspect you had something to do with this change.”

He wouldn't have wanted to talk to her while she was hysterical. “Yes, I did.”

He sighs and bends down to retrieve the spoon. His muscles are tense; he's angry, but we are attracting interested stares. I lean back and smile nonchalantly to goad him on.

“That's all you needed to say. Since you openly admit to meddling with my work with Asha, I have every right to prevent you from doing it in the future.” Here he leans forward and makes eye contact in an attempt to drive the point home. “If this happens again I shall ban you from seeing her.”

“You can't do that.” The idea makes me angrier than I thought it would.

“Yes I can. You're on thin ice with the Fleet, Reid. One word from me is all they'd need to send you packing for good. You'll be doing what I say.”

My fists clench under the table. I take a deep breath to keep from hitting him, which would get me sent packing. “I see... sir.”

He gives me a humorless smile. “Regardless, thank you for warning me. Thanks to you, she probably won't be ready for classes next quarter.”

“Don't blame me, you despot,” I say, more loudly than I intend. “None of this would have been an issue at all if you'd bothered to paint our societies as something other than an idyllic escape from the fucking torment of her childhood. But you don't actually care, do you? She's a powerful empath, and you and your people just wanted her here at any cost!” My turn to slam my fist on the table, sending toast crumbs bouncing into his lap. He brushes them away before speaking in a far quieter voice.

“They're your people now too, Reid. I suggest you get used to that. And don't you dare presume to know my motives.”

I open my mouth, but am saved from stupidity by the arrival of Caroline. This may be the one time I have been truly happy to see her.

“Reid? Desmond? I... was not aware you two spoke!” Her eyes look slightly panicked.

“Don't worry—we don't,” I say, and leave the table without providing more explanation.

What a fucking mess. Should have trusted my instincts and gone back to bed. Made no sense for him to overreact like that. Everyone says he's calm, level-headed. His students love him. What I just saw wasn't normal behavior for him. Might ask Seamus, but I can't see him knowing Asha that well after spending ten minutes of time with her, Type Three or no. Maybe I'll talk to Elene, instead. Hopefully Diane will still be asleep.

The walk from the cafeteria to her dorm is long, but at least it's also dry one. The grounds crewmen have finally decided fall is here and are busy covering the walkways to shelter the students from the rain. The bright cloth they use is supposed to look festive and bring some color back into the world,. Really, just makes us seem tasteless. Not the best look for when we are so close to being invaded by refugees. At least not all of them are blue.

Elene's downstairs in the kitchen wearing the shortest nightshorts I have ever seen. Her freckled legs are toned from years of swimming and balancing, with a lingering tan left over from the summer. She turns when she hears me coming and pushes a chunk of her long, loose hair out of her face.

“You're here a little early, Reid,” she says with a smile, offering me a mug of tea. When I decline, she turns to the counter to add cream and sugar to it in the Oceanan style. I try to remember how she knows I like neither. Will probably figure it out the day I understand why she likes me.

“Didn't expect you would be awake.”

She yawns and fills another mug with tea. “Asha didn't sleep well last night, so neither did I.” Cream and sugar added, she grabs them both and turns to me. “She wants to see you.”

I point at the mugs. “Only two?”

“What?”

“Where's Nanda?”

“Oh. We're not sure.” Her voice lowers and she takes a step closer to me. “They got into a fight last night. He couldn't see why being banned from Midbar concerned them. She tried to explain it, and it turned into a fight about leaving Old Earth in the first place.”

“What do you mean?”

Elene sighs and sets the mugs back down. “Reid, I wish you were a more powerful empath. Telling it like this takes too long.”

“Sorry to make you rely on words, Elene,” I say dryly.

She shrugs and continues. “Nanda was happy on Old Earth. He's only out here because of Asha.”

“So he should go home,” I reply, secretly elated. Getting him out of the way would be ideal, since it would make it far easier to be alone with Asha.

“It's not that easy. He's been off-planet. It's changed him. He's not sure he would be happy now, or that he would be welcomed back. Whether he likes it or not, he's an outsider to his homeland.”

“Then he should suck it up and accept that things happening out here are important,” I say, somewhat less pleased.

“That was Asha's point. And we haven't seen him since.”

“You don't seem worried.”

“Asha's not worried, so why should I be? Come on, she's getting bored.”

Mugs back in hand, she heads up the stairs. I follow and enjoy the view I am getting of her ass, secretly dreading tonight's dreams, which will likely involve them both. Elene opens a door on the left-hand side and beckons me into Asha's room.

“You've certainly moved in.” She's on the bed, even less dressed than Elene is, and I kick myself again for not just going back to bed this morning. She's in a sleeveless shirt that must have been Elene's, because it plunges farther and exposes more skin than a Naval supplier would allow. Underneath it, she's obviously in a pair of panties. The more suspicious part of me is certain they are doing it intentionally, though the more likely explanation is that they've simply forgotten what they are wearing.

“Some of us live here,” she replies sleepily, stretching out across the bed. My eyes rest on a dark purple bruise just under her left shoulder.

“What did that?” I ask, pointing. She lifts her head up and looks at me, confused.

“Did what?”

“Asha, there's an enormous bruise on your shoulder.”

She raises her hand to her shoulder and winces as her fingers make contact. She looks down at it, then up at me.

“You did that, Reid.” Just stating a fact. No idea I'd slammed her to the floor that hard. Elene hands her the tea and they both move over to make room for me. I sit down next to them and lie back against the covers. They smell like her hair.

“What brings you by?” Asha asks, looking down at me. I smile. Seamus says that all the time, though the slow way she speaks makes it seem natural to her.

“Just got back from talking to Desmond.”

“Oh.”

“He's angry with me now.”

Elene giggles. “Reid, that's not surprising. You're you.”

“Yes. I was expecting he'd get angry. Wasn't expecting he'd get that angry with no provocation. He threatened to ban me from seeing you, Asha.”

There is a pause as she considers. “But I like seeing you.”

Elene frowns. “That seems less like him. May I see how it happened?”
“No.” Don't want her in my head when they're both in their underwear. Want to figure out why Desmond got so edgy, but that knowledge isn't worth exposing myself to two incredibly powerful empaths. Asha sighs and falls back next to me. She's annoyed at my refusal; I'm annoyed by how good she smells.

Elene smiles. “I understand. If I thought I could I'd stop practicing, too, especially after last night.”

“Do you not think you would be lonely?” Asha asks her.

“Yes,” Elene replies, looking at me. “Reid, do your powers... have they gone away at all since you...?”

I shake my head. “Every time I have to use them, they're the same as ever.”

Elene's turn to sigh. “Then I really am stuck like this, aren't I.”

“Elene, what is it like growing up here?” Asha's voice is softer than usual. Desmond probably wouldn't want us to tell her. Seems weird to find someone who doesn't know.

Elene correctly interprets here as meaning the Consortium and not Kiran. “Oh, you know. Not being allowed to go to school with non-empaths. We might cheat on the tests! Not being allowed in museums, research labs. We might steal their information! Courts were forbidden too. Contests. This is the first place I have ever been treated like a human.”

“Reid?” Her blue eyes turn to mine.

“Same on Newearth. Worse, in some ways, because there are more people. My mother and sister were empathic. My father wasn't. Even he treated them differently, and he loved them.” I try to keep my voice flat.

“Were?” Asha says quietly.

“They're dead.”

Asha speaks after a pause. “So it is like you said last night.”

“Do you regret coming here?” I ask.

“No. I would not have been able to have this conversation two weeks ago. At least I have a chance of fitting in here. And now that I know there is so much I do not know I will not be surprised again.”

We all lie on Asha's bed in silence. I take the opportunity to look around her room. It's more eclectic than I expected; some of the decor is Kiranese, some Midbaran, but all of it is soft. The shelf lining the far wall is already half-full of readers. wonder who taught her how to read. Desmond either doesn't know about the books, or is blind to their significance. Asha's clearly taking her education into her own hands. The sound panel near the bed has been used, too. She's been listening to flute music.

“I used to play a type of wooden flute, you know,” I say, gesturing at the panel.

Asha smiles. “Would you play for me?”
“Haven't played in years. I'd sound terrible.”

“Was it a pretty instrument?”

“It was well-made. Midbaran-style. Longer, didn't sound reedy. Heavy, though, for long compositions.”

“Why did you stop?”

Asha's wristband saves me from answering. As she walks to the bookshelf and rummages around, I take the time to compare her backside to Elene's. No adorable freckles, but her skin tone is far more appealing to me. She turns to me, and I am granted a view of her belly-button.

“Desmond is on his way here to speak to me.”

I rise from the bed. “That's my cue to leave, then. Don't want to be here when he gets here, though he may have already pinged me.”

Asha blinks, then understands. “These wristbands seem so wrong sometimes,” she mutters, putting it on.

“Believe me, you've no idea. Oh, Asha?”

She looks up at me “Yes?”

“Before you see him, you may want to put on some pants.”

She and Elene look down as one, then back to me. I was right; they'd had no idea they weren't dressed. I give Asha a wide grin as Elene pushes me out her door by force. “Lecherous! I should make you use the front door so you run into him,” she chides.

“Would have said something earlier, but I was trying to count the freckles on your legs.”

“Out!” She stamps her foot and points toward a staircase at the far end of the hall. I reach them just in time to hear Desmond announce himself in the common room.

Should head back to my dorm. I'll need a shower before I see Caroline.



DESMOND
I stumble across Elene by sheer chance in the cafeteria. She's talking to Seamus, who takes one look at me, glances at her, and excuses himself. He's been coming to his lessons, but it's obvious he's not pleased with me. Ever since he and Asha met, he's picked up some of her mannerisms, and it is becoming clear the link between them is strong. Because of this, I can't be sure it is actually him avoiding me. For all I know, each time he looks at me and frowns, she is the one who walks away.

Elene gives me a weak smile but holds her ground when I approach, which makes me thankful; the last thing I need is the student body watching me lose control of my empaths.

“Elene, may I speak with you?”

She nods. “Want to eat lunch together?”

“Definitely. Pick a table.”

She guides me over to a small corner table and begins to unload her tray. “What's going on?”

“I want to talk to you about Asha.” Ever since Midbar closed its borders to empaths, I haven't been able to get ahold of her. She doesn't respond to messages, and is tellingly absent every time I drop by to look for her. I suspect someone else in the house has been wearing her wristband. Following Nanda hasn't worked, either—they've spent far less time around one another recently. The last thing I want to do is admit this to one of my other students, but I am desperate.

She freezes, apple in hand, and gives me a smile that makes me feel rather depressed. “You've got a one-track mind, don't you?”

“Yes.”

“Asha doesn't want to talk to you, Desmond.”

“She's missed a week of lessons.”

“She's been studying on her own.”

Well, that's something, at least. “Who is organizing her studies?”

Elene gives me a long stare. “She is.” There's a pause as she takes a bite of apple and sits down. “Look, Desmond, can I be honest with you?”

“Of course, Elene.” I take a sip of tea.

“You're acting like an idiot.” She punctuates this sentence with another bite of apple, teeth flashing white against its mottled skin.

“That's a bit too honest, Elene,” I begin, but she cuts me off.

“No, it's not. You're being unfair.”

I run my hands through my hair and briefly wonder if my students have gone insane. In all the years I've been teaching, I have never been called an idiot by one of them.

“Okay. I'll be blunt, too.” She sets the apple down and levels her eyes with mine. “Desmond, we like you. You care about us. When things go wrong in our lives, you take it into account in our studies. Compassion makes you great.”

“But?” I take a nonchalant sip of tea.

“But Asha gets none of that! Not only are you refusing to admit you messed up, but you're punishing both her and Reid for your pride. You let the girl get blind-sided and then openly refuse to be there for her when she needs you.”

“She didn't want to talk to me!”

“Desmond, how old are you? That's a sign that you need to go crawling in on your hands and knees!” Her forehead wrinkles with worry. “You don't treat her like a person, and people are beginning to notice.”

“Anyone could have filled her in on that little slice of our culture. Why didn't you, for example?”

“I'm speaking hypothetically here and assuming you're not actually trying to shift blame off on me.” She pulls her hair behind her shoulders before continuing. “I've lived here my entire life. To me, that's just how things are, and I didn't get to thinking about it until her breakdown. There's some sort of saying, 'familiarity breeds apathy?' It's just like that. Your job is to prepare her for all the things we take for granted!” She takes another bite of apple and waits for me to respond.

It takes me a moment to compile my thoughts: part of me is proud, because I have never heard Elene more eloquent. More of me is embarrassed because I am being scolded by a girl less than half my age.

“Well put, Elene. But I do disagree on one point.”

“Hmmm?” she says through a chunk of apple.

“I don't believe I treat Asha any differently than you or Seamus.”

Elene sighs. “Desmond. You're handling her so badly you managed to attract the attention of one of the most taciturn, biased, and oblivious guys on campus, who took time out of his busy brooding schedule to come try and talk to you about it.”

I don't want to think about that particular altercation. Caroline and I are not speaking, yet again, because of what I said to Reid that day. And, until now, I'd been convinced she was overreacting. “I admit I hadn't thought about it quite that way before.”

“We're not idiots, Desmond. We know there's something special with Asha's case, and the way you're treating her is making that rather obvious. Now you have Reid interested, and he doesn't usually stop until he figures things out. So the way I see it, you have two choices here.” She finishes off the apple and tosses it into a nearby garbage bin with terrifyingly accurate aim.

“And they are?”

“You figure out your issues and give Asha the treatment she deserves, thus convincing Reid and all of us that this is just a fluke.”

“Or?”

“Or, you have Reid expelled to protect yourself, and Seamus, Asha, and I find new Teachers.”

“So you're saying if I threaten Reid again, you're going to leave?”
She looks at me calmly. “Yes, we are.”

“Are you threatening me, Elene?”

“No, Desmond. I've been thinking about it for the past week, and those are the only two ways I can see this ending. But I really don't want it to be the second one. Asha likes you. It's part of why she's so upset. She wants approval, Desmond, and you should be giving it to her.”

I shake my head. “In the words of Reid, I shouldn't be acting like her father.”

Elene rolls her eyes. “Now that's taken out of context! Approval is different from unconditional love. You get approval when you do something right. She's been working harder than she can stand to be what you want her to be, and you've never said a word to her.”

“She's a Type Three. She can tell.”

“She's a Type Three who is learning the value of words, Desmond. It's not enough anymore.”

I take another sip of tea and find it cold. “And how do you know all this?”

Elene leans over the table and jabs me in the forehead with her finger. “If you're in there as much as I am, you pick up on a few things. We don't have privacy. We don't have shame. We understand what people really are like.” Here she gives me another long stare. “And we're worried about you.”

“This sounds rather like an intervention.”

“It is,” she says simply, then begins to collect her tray.

“So may I speak with Asha, then?”

“She's in the Arboretum, waiting for you. I hope you've listened.”

“...Thank you, Elene. I'm sorry.”

“Don't apologize to me. Apologize to Asha and Reid.” She gets up from the table and turns to go, then pauses.

“Oh, Desmond?”

“Yes, Elene?”

“Start talking to Caroline again. It's easier for us all when you two are on speaking terms.” And with that, she leaves me, alone and stunned, in the middle of a crowded lunchroom. I buy time for myself by refilling my tea mug, and sip it on the way to the Arboretum, pondering what just happened to me.

I'd just had a normal conversation with Elene. She didn't once complain she wished I were empathic. She didn't once answer what I was thinking instead of what I said. And yet she was clearly using her abilities in other ways. This was the Elene I had trained her to be, and now I am left wondering if she'd been there all along without my noticing. This entire business with Asha has made me feel as if I don't know my students at all, and that deeply troubles me. Because if I have just been going through the paces and not actually caring, Elene is right—I do need to get my priorities straight.

Then again, it's not really a debate. If an empath gives you advice concerning what is going on in your head, you take it. This was a warning. They'll all respect my privacy—for now. But if I give them more to be curious about, they may give in to curiosity and keep digging. The most ironic thing about this is my students, who have no real understanding of privacy, respect it more than many of my coworkers. I hope this means I have done something right.

I drain my tea and set the mug down on a bench at the Arboretum's entrance, making a mental note to pick it up on my way out. Asha's not as far back in as she usually is, possibly as a sign of good faith to make this easier on me. She's sitting on a small boulder underneath a broadleaf tree, almost bare now, playing a wooden flute. As I step closer, the low tones of the instrument become audible, and I can't help being impressed. I know for a fact she didn't play at all a week ago. One of my friends growing up learned a new instrument every month by going to concerts. By the time he was done, he knew how to read the music and had the motor memory necessary to play adequately. This must be what Asha had done.

She pauses and looks up at me as I approach, lowering the flute to her side. It is at least half as long as she is, made from a dark, heavy wood. Midbaran-style. I know the refugees have been giving some of their belongings away in gratitude for all the help the students have been providing, but as far as I know she hasn't been able to get near the camps yet.

“Nice flute,” I say in Kiranese.

“Thank you.” She replies in Native, feeling the grain of the instrument with one hand. She's angry with me.

“Where did you get it?”

She looks up at me and gives me a long, blue-eyed stare.

“Did someone give it to you?”

Asha nods and places the flute across her lap possessively. She still hasn't blinked.

“Who?”

“I do not remember,” she says softly.

“How long have you had it?” I ask, in hopes of narrowing possible gift-givers down. A few seconds pass, and I quickly come to the conclusion that she isn't going to answer. I decide to move right to the apology.

“Asha, look, I'm so—”

She cuts me off. “I have been reading about Midbar's history from that,” she says, gesturing to a library linkpad she's left lying in the dirt. “But it confuses me.”

“Why?”

She leans back against the boulder and shuts her eyes in what I am quickly coming to recognize as her classic thinking position. “Some of the books tell things one way, some the other, but both could not have happened, could they?”

I sigh and take a seat on the ground next to her. “Have you ever seen yourself as someone else sees you?”

She nods slightly.

“Did it seem different from how you see yourself?”

“Yes.”

“That's perspective. The nice thing about being you is you can see people's perspectives and everything that caused them any time you are in their head. You understand their motivations. Book authors still have perspective, but you no longer have all the information. So it seems confusing.”

She ponders this for a second, eyes still closed.

“But how can you tell what is right and wrong without all the information?”

I sigh and toss a rock at a nearby pile of leaves. “That's the question none of us know how to answer, Asha.”

“Oh.”

I let the silence stretch out. Her head is still back—something's on her mind. The wind kicks at the rapidly drying leaves, and they rustle around our legs.

“Desmond?”

“Yes, Asha.”

“I like reading.” This she says in Kiranese. My apology has been accepted.

“So do I.” I wonder who taught her how to read, and if they knew they were doing it when it happened.

“But talking to you, I still need to.”

“That's good to hear.”

“So I want to have lessons again,” she murmurs.

“That won't be a problem,” I reply.

Her head comes up suddenly, and she fixes me with a very blue stare. “But I want to go to classes next quarter. I am bored, Desmond. I want to learn about people from people.”
My gut reaction is to tell her no. It's too soon. She can't handle herself in public. But then I remember Reid and Elene's words, and I ask a question instead. “Do you think you're ready?”

“Make me ready.” She narrows her eyes slightly as she stares me down.

I let the silence stretch out while I consider. “It won't be easy.”

“I do well in small groups.”

“People you know. Strangers will exhaust you.”

“That is fine.” The carriage of her head has a stubborn tilt I've not seen to it before. I sigh.

“Well, then. Starting tomorrow let's begin our lessons with lunch in the cafeteria. But Asha?”

She smiles at me, elated at the chance of being out in public. “Yes, Desmond?”

“You'll have to find your thoughts, keep track of my conversation, keep other people out, eat, and still learn. It is going to be a horrible experience.”

“But it will prepare me for class,” she says slowly.

I nod at her.

“Then I have to do it.” She sits up abruptly, brings the flute to her lips, and plays a few notes. The wood is worn where her fingers rest, and there are scuffs at the ends of the body. This is an old instrument; not a premeditated gift, but a spontaneous act. It could very well have been a refugee. And, if she blacked out at the camp, it would explain her lack of memory.

“There is one thing you should learn if we're going to do this,” I tell her when she comes to a pause in the song. She lowers the flute and looks at me with interest, so I continue. “When you're out in public, you're going to... collect minds. You need to know how to get rid of those connections when you don't need them anymore.”

“How do I do that?”

“Most empaths shower. Use the water as your focus, and imagine it washing away all the people you don't want to be joined with constantly.”

She considers this for a moment, and then gives me a wide smile. “That is a very good idea.”

“Thank you.”

“May I ask you something, Desmond?” she says in her tongue, this time as a sign of closeness rather than anger.

“Of course, Asha-na,” I reply unthinkingly. We both start at my use of the diminutive.

“Who taught you to teach us?” She hops off the boulder and moves over to sit beside me.
“Well, I learned a lot from your people while I was on Old Earth, but a good portion of it I picked up from my students over the years.”

“From your students?” She crumbles a leaf in her hand, and it makes me realize how cold it is out here.

“Yes. The Fleet likes to tell us the best Teachers learn from their students—” I trail off suddenly, and Asha smiles up at me.

“Elene is happy to hear you say that.”

I give her a wry smile and toss a handful of leaves at her. She giggles.

“Does this mean you all aren't mad at me anymore?”

She shakes her head. “We have forgiven you, but you will have to talk to Reid and Caroline yourself.”

I sigh and fall back into the leaves. Asha does the same, and we stare up at the sky through the naked branches. The rains seem to have ended, and I imagine winter will be soon on its way. The worst of Kiran's weather has passed.

“I suppose you already know you're learning twice as fast as Seamus did,” I murmur after a moment.

“Yes.”

“And you know you're the most powerful student I've ever had in all my years of teaching?”

“Yes,” she repeats.

“But you like to hear it out loud?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

She turns her head toward me with leaves stuck to her braid. On anyone else it would look silly. “You seem to give more value to words spoken out loud than to the words you think. So if you say it, it is important to you, even if it is a lie.”

“I'm not lying, Asha.” Which is a terrifying thought, indeed.

“I know.”

And there we fall silent.