Chapter 27: Desmond

“You know, I think Aki's a genius,” Caroline murmurs into my shoulder as we lie on the couch and watch the clip of Asha's preliminary questioning for what must be the thirteenth time. Even though I had promised to do my best to advocate for Asha when she decided to testify, a large part of me had done so because I was sure Aki would tell her no. Keep her safe. But now I am wondering if Aki saw something in Asha I had not.

“Seriously, Desmond. Look at her.”

“I am, sweetie.” She grumbles quietly and settles more firmly against me. Asha remains on screen, kicking her legs absently, feet bare. It makes her look quaint, an image which is only accentuated by her petite stature. The cushions they have stacked on the podium seat are Kiranese blue and provide an excellent counterpoint to bring her eyes out against the whiteness of the rest of the room. The podium in front of her and the chair holding her in midair serve to make her skin darker, more unusual, and the lighting accentuates her cheekbones. Elene did her hair in pigtails, which makes her seem modernized, but has also given the feeder who took this particular clip an excellent view of her scar. Wherever she turns, it stays expertly centered. No one on Kiran has scars. When we get cut, we get treated quickly so the doctors can prevent our body from forming scar tissue. Of all her features, that is the one that most clearly announces she does not fit in, so it is only natural that the feeders would be so focused on it.

I've grown used to the scar and how bright her skin makes her hair and teeth look. That is not what keeps me coming back to watch this feed again and again. For me, the most shocking bit of the entire piece is how calmly Asha handles Rayland. Caroline thinks she is being brave, but I have a somewhat less optimistic take on the matter. Asha simply does not understand what's going on. She has no frame of reference, and she honestly cannot comprehend what could happen to her should things go wrong. And so she smiles at Rayland, and misenterprets his comments in the most endearing fashion possible, and the feeders love her for it. And because the feeders love her, everyone else is quickly falling for her, as well. They have not been shown images of her throwing a desk out her classroom door. There were no cameras to capture the crowd's collapse at the refugee camp, a fact which I will never stop being thankful for. All the public has to go on is what they see in this one encounter.

But the feeders aren't responsible for all of this positive emotion toward Asha. The part that Aki must have seen coming, the part I was too close to Asha to see myself, is how harmless she seems on film. She's a good foot shorter than everyone else around her, and the slow, yet deliberate way she talks makes her seem younger than she really is. Add the mundane clothing covering her exotic features, and they have an image that proclaims how different she is, but at the same time is completely non-threatening. She looks unique enough for people to be able to instantly believe she is a powerful empath, but none of her mannerisms are what they have been trained to expect. Asha is the best bit of PR the University has right now. That must be why Aki took the risk and let her go, and I feel guilty that I do not resent her for that decision. If Asha is being used, but still gets a chance to save Seamus, has anything wrong actually occurred?

“It is my experience that everyone has something to hide,” Rayland says, and a feeder launches into a long-winded analysis of the current trial dynamics. Another giggles and mentions how Ms. Indrani seemed completely unworried about the proceedings.

“We are going to a restaurant!” Asha tells the camera, eyes lit with genuine glee. I haven't seen her that happy since before Nanda left.

“I don't think that's the face of a liar, do you?” says the green-eyed host.

“If so, I want her training!” laughs the other, and Caroline sighs.

“How long do you think this will last?”

I shake my head. “Hopefully long enough to keep her safe. Rayland isn't used to being beaten so soundly, so he may lose his head. And if he does, she'll gain face.”

“So what, we bank on his instability?”

I don't respond, because I notice something new in the feed. This particular one has caught a glimpse of Reid. They don't know who he is, of course, aside from the fact that he's another empath thanks to his banding. What has caught their attention is the look on his face as he guides her through the crowd.

“There's a man who understands exactly what is going on,” the feeders mutter, and Caroline sighs.

“Poor Reid.” He looks into the screen briefly, and we lock eyes through time and space. His features have become almost gaunt. The stress of caring for her is taking its toll, and the way his hand is on Asha's arm reminds me of someone else who was always just as tired and worried. I fervently hope the parallel never occurs to either of them.

“I wonder if he regrets going with her.”

Caroline stretches easily against me. “Knowing him, he wishes he did, at least.”

“Sometimes I wonder if they really are that good for each other.”

“Desmond, you know better than that. Reid cares. And he is helping her control her powers more thoroughly than either you ever could.”

“Yes, and what is he doing for her character?”

I cannot see her face, but her voice is thoroughly unamused. She thinks I am being childish. “He's helping her mature, Desmond. I'd say that counts for something.”

“That explains why I resent it so much, then.”

She giggles. “Our students all have to grow up sometime. I miss them when they go, but it would drive me insane if they never changed.”

I fall silent again. Now would be a good time to tell her what has been worrying me since I first saw the feed. But just like every other time the chance has arisen, my voice seems to freeze. I don't want to admit it to her, so I push the thought away for what seems like the hundredth time today and force my mind to focus on other things.

Caroline and I lie on the couch for a while longer in silence, and I am just beginning to drift off when my wristband sounds. Elene's voice, sounding frantic, fills the air of my living room.

“Desmond? Desmond, they're here, and they keep asking me things!”

I sit up rapidly. “What? Elene, who are you talking about?”

“Feeders! Desmond, they won't go away!”

Caroline looks at me in concern. Having feeders on campus is not good, especially considering how tense the student body has been since Asha collapsed. I didn't need an indignant Reid telling me what happened at the campus club to figure out that the general opinion of her has been somewhat strained of late. The last thing we need is one of them bringing up the details of why.

“I'll come find you now. Don't say anything until I get there.”

“Walk fast. I'm losing my patience.”

Caroline giggles. “Oh, that's not a good sign.”

I shake my head. “We need to tell Aki. I'm not sure she's going to be pleased they're here.”

“Yeah, but can we do anything about it?”

“Legally? Yes. Would it be wise?” I shrug and rise to find my shoes.

“Want me to tell her?”

“Please do.”

I step out the door just as Caroline starts bickering with Aki's smug assistant. Elene's wristband has her located just outside of Hanakawa. I wonder if they found her there. Judging by how annoyed she is, it is more likely they stumbled upon her at the cafeteria and followed her home. A brisk walk gets me there within minutes.

“Desmond! Desmond, make them go away!” Elene is standing in the center of a ring of young feeders, frowning prettily. For once, her hair is clean, and is hanging in her face in long, tangled waves.

“Excuse me, gentlemen, but you really shouldn't be tormenting my students.” I keep my tone amiable.

“We were just asking her about Asha, sir. Everyone wants to know more about her, and we thought Ms. Stavros here would be the best source.” A pair of green eyes meets my own fearlessly. The ringleader. I recognize him from the feed Caroline and I had just watched.

“Technically the best source would be Ms. Indrani herself, but my understanding is that Aria won't let you near her.”

“Not for lack of trying, sir!” They all grin at me, and I sigh.

“Did you ask Ms. Stavros for an interview, or just corner her in the middle of the cafeteria?”

Their smiles fade. I continue. “You might have had better luck if you'd asked her instead of mobbing her. I doubt I'll shock you when I say most of the students here are wary of high-strung crowds.”

Several of them begin to look at one another uncertainly. Elene moves to stand beside me, and I brush her hair out of her eyes so she can glare at them more effectively. This action catches the attention of the green-eyed boy, and he smiles, clearly charmed.

“You can really tell they're friends,” he chuckles. “Asha gave her feet that same look when she was trying to find her shoes.”

Elene eyes him warily. “You're pretty good at seeing people for a non-empath.”

He gives her a little bow, and she grins despite herself.

“I'll talk to you, if you want.” Her eyes dart up and she glares at the rest of the crowd. “But not any of you.”

Several grumbles of protest start, but she shakes her head. “No! He's the only one who has any idea what Asha is like. The rest of you just care about the feed.”

At this, most of them shrug amicably, which surprises me far more than it appears to surprise Elene.

“We'll catch up with you later, Jaden.” The other feeders split off and begin to head back to the cafeteria.

“I'd be careful, boys,” I call after them. “I'm not too sure you're allowed to be here.”

A dark-haired Oceanan winks at me. “We're not, either. Good thing we talk fast!” And with that, they are officially Aki's problem.

“Don't worry, Mr. Doyle. No one on this campus has said one bad word about your girl,” Jaden murmurs to me as the three of us step inside Hanakawa's main archway. I don't bother asking how he knows who I am—it is clear he is far from unintelligent. “And we've been here all morning,” he finishes.

“Keep asking long enough and that will change,” I reply. Elene steps into the kitchen, I assume to make tea, and I lead Jaden to the cushions they have set up in the living room. He smiles appreciatively.

“Oh, Midbaran-style! Suits these two just fine, I think.” He jots a note on a datapad and looks around brightly. “Nice setup here. Clean, too, though that's no surprise for a dormful of empaths, now is it?” This comment is followed up with a wink. He's putting me at ease despite myself.

“Look, you can talk to me.” He fixes me with those eyes again, and I feel a strange wrenching feeling in my stomach. This kid could be Reid, if things had gone very differently. “I'm not out to hurt her, and I don't know of anyone that is. So whatever's worrying you, stop it. No one on this campus is going to say one wrong word about her as long as she's doing so well against Rayland, trust me. Even if they think it. It would make them look bad. Be glad the feeder invasion happened today and not after the tides have turned.”

“The hope is they won't turn,” I mutter.

“Oh, I'm with you on that one. Hateful, how most empaths are treated. My sister's a Type Two. Having a crazy time finding a job, but is worried about coming here.” He jabs a finger at the floor, indicating he means the University.

“Why?”

“Thinks there'll be war,” he sighs, slipping into a thick Newearthan drawl.

Elene appears, balancing three mugs in her hands. She hands Jaden his first, and he sniffs appreciatively. “Just enough sugar and everything. You're a nice girl.”

She gives him a half-smile and hands me mine before sitting on a deep purple cushion and crossing her legs to one side. I lower myself down beside her, sitting far less gracefully, and Jaden gets out his feedgear. Elene sighs. “I hate being recorded.”

“Chose an odd place to live, then.”

“You actually think this was a choice? This is the only place I've ever gone where I didn't feel afraid.”

“Good point. Ah, the lighting in here is lovely. Makes your hair really shine.”

Elene looks suddenly self-conscious, and Jaden giggles. “Sorry. You look good. All I meant by it.”

He stops messing with the gear and looks at me. “Okay, Mr. Doyle. You're her Teacher and Asha's both, so if you don't like where any of these questions are going, say so, and I'll cut them out completely. No one will even know I asked.”

I nod and take a sip of tea. Elene knew what she was doing when she chose this one from the pack.

“Are you ready, Ms. Stavros?”

She nods and tries not to fidget with the cushion fringe.

“May I call you Elene?”

Another nod.

“We've been told that other than Seamus Walsh, you're Asha's best friend.”

She frowns at him. “Asha has a lot of friends, but he and I are connected to her the most often.”

“Sounds right to me,” he replies amiably. “When did you meet her?”

Elene gives a little smile and sets her tea mug down on the floor in front of her. “When she first got here, a little over a year ago. I was the only one who could make any sense of her. She'd had no training, so wasn't very good at talking out loud. All Type Threes are like that.”

“Was she very different than she is now?”

She shakes her head emphatically, and her hair starts to fall back into her eyes. “She is less scattered now, better at focusing, and she's a lot better at talking, but she's not very different. It's strange, really. Most people change a lot when they come here. She didn't.”

Elene's eyes dart to me, and she takes a nervous sip from her mug. Jaden gives her a moment, then asks another question.

“What is she best at doing here at the University, do you think?”

“Oh, playing the flute, definitely. I mean, she's good at everything, but listening to her play is so relaxing. It's my favorite.” She grins over the top of her mug at Jaden.

“What does she sound like?” I think he's asking these questions to get her calmed down. There's no way he could know what a perfect topic he had just unearthed. Asha has recently been proving herself to be something of a musical prodigy, and the Kiranese public would love her if they got ahold of her recordings.

“Would you like to hear her?” Elene fusses with her wristband for a moment, and then Asha's wood flute begins to play softly from the walls of the room. Jaden listens in rapt silence for almost a full minute before shaking himself back into the interview.

“Oh, wow. Who taught her? That's really lovely Midbaran technique.” His voice sounds surprisingly genuine. I wonder how long he's been doing this job.

“She taught herself, mostly. I mean, she got the motor memory from—someone else, but the rest she did on her own. Well. I think she already knew how to play some from growing up, but she doesn't talk about her childhood much.”

“Why do you think that's so?”

Elene sets her mug down again and rolls her eyes at Jaden. “That's a stupid question.”

He laughs merrily. “Point taken, Ms. Stavros.” There's a pause as they both sip at their teas.

“You know,” he says after a moment, “It's surprising how protective you all are of her. A lot of Type Threes, people are scared of them, but even the ones who are obviously terrified of Asha speak highly of her on this campus. Why is that?”

There is a paranoid part of me that wants to stop this question, but Elene seems prepared, so I decide to trust her judgement. Caroline would be proud of me.

“Asha is a good person!” she says emphatically, almost knocking over her tea for emphasis. Jaden stifles a smile behind his mug.

“It worries me,” she adds quietly.

“Why does that worry you?”

“Everyone was already upset about Seamus,” Elene starts slowly, looking at me uncertainly. I give her a nod. If this is going where I think it is, Aki will be glad to have it on a feed. Well, as happy as she can be, anyway. I doubt she will appreciate Elene being interviewed, but since it is not my place to stop it after she gave her express permission, she'll understand why it happened.

“Everyone was already upset about Seamus,” she says again, idly drawing patterns on her cushion. “We all liked him. He was good to have in classes, smart, funny.” She pauses and stares into the camera for the first time since the interview began. “He didn't kill that man. We all know it, because we all know him. And Asha...we're scared for her. We don't want her to get hurt. She doesn't really...understand Kiran yet, and we're scared.”

“That she'll get in trouble over this?”

Elene sighs. “I can't see a way she could. Asha hasn't done anything wrong, but the laws—they're not fair! They're not. And if something happens to Asha, after Seamus, I think...” she trails off, and Jaden waits patiently. “We're not allowed off-campus anymore. Everyone is worried someone will do something stupid because they are angry. And the more of us they take away for no reason, the more scared I get that they're right.”

Jaden thinks for a moment. “Your school has a capable administration, and from what I've seen, all of your fellow students are disciplined. Do you really think there would be an uproar if things go badly?”

She shrugs. “The riots are always random, aren't they? One wrong thought at the wrong time, and all of the sudden people are dying. Never happens over stuff that actually matters, so probably not.” I am surprised at how bitter she sounds here. “I'm mostly worried someone will try to seed us.” The way she says it is matter-of-fact enough to make the statement truly horrifying. She falls silent and reaches for her tea.

Jaden doesn't have much to say in response to that, so he shifts direction slightly. “Do you miss them?”

Elene doesn't respond immediately, but her eyes grow red, and she looks down determinedly to hide that she is crying.

“I don't like being alone.” Her voice is watery.

He turns off the recorder swiftly and looks at me to see if he should leave. I shake my head slightly and wait for Elene to recover. Jaden takes a nervous sip of tea and pointedly avoids looking at her.

“I'm fine, you two,” she says, wiping at her eyes. “But thanks for stopping the feed.”

“Hey, thanks for the interview.” He stares at me pointedly, and I pretend I don't notice.

“Are you going to record someone else now?” She asks, reaching for his tea mug.

“Nope. You're all I need. I've got all the afternoon free now, thanks to you.”

Elene giggles. “What are you going to do?”

Jaden gives her a wide grin. “Ask you out to lunch.”

Her smile falters, and her face turns crimson. “Oh.”

“Is there something wrong with that?” Jaden looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Elene is seeing someone.” I feel myself starting to smile in that annoying way old people do when they think young people are being cute. I never realized I did it until Caroline pointed it out a few months ago. I drain my tea and wait for the moment to pass so I don't come off as condescending.

“Oh, well. Tell him he's a lucky guy, Ms. Stavros.” He bows at her again and then grabs our mugs himself and heads for the kitchen, whistling merrily.

“What just happened?” Elene asks me, falling backward onto the floor.

“I believe you were just asked out by a rather famous feeder,” I say nonchalantly.

“Why?” Her voice is flat. Sounds of vigorous scrubbing drift in from the kitchen.

“Maybe it's because you washed your hair.” I smirk down at her, and she tosses a cushion at me.

“Hush. Bad Teacher.”

“What's he doing?” Bastian's low voice startles me more than it should have. Of course he's here. Elene was crying. He'd be worried.

“I'm fine, Bastian.” She sighs and sits up, shoving her hair out of her face.

“Who's in the kitchen?”

“Well—“ I begin, but Jaden chooses this moment to reappear and introduce himself. He sizes Bastian up instantly and appears to like what he sees.

“Oh, you've got to be the boyfriend. Looks like I get to tell you you're a lucky guy myself! I'm Jaden,” he smiles, holding out his hand for a Newearth-style greeting. “Just finished interviewing your very pretty girlfriend.”

I expect Bastian to bristle, but he just gives Jaden a bemused stare and takes his hand awkwardly. “Desmond, what is Jaden Ahern doing in our living room?”

“I believe he just told you, Bastian,” I reply mildly.

Jaden laughs pleasantly and releases Bastian's hand. “Anyway, I'm on my way out. Need to head back to the Capitol and cut this feed. It was nice meeting all of you, and I hope you get Seamus and Asha back soon, though I have a feeling I'll miss recording her when she's gone.” He gives Elene one last grin. “The two of you really are extraordinary.”

“Don't make us regret this, Jaden.” I smile to soften the words.

“Oh, never, sir. My sister would disown me if I ever took Rayland's side, and I happen to love her very much.” With a final wink, he exits the dorm. Elene falls back over and exhales in relief. I rise to go, but she grabs my arm.

“Desmond.”

“Yes?”

She gives me a stare that makes me feel like a child in trouble. I pity her future children. “Tell Caroline.”

I stiffen and pull my arm away from her reflexively. “Tell her what?”

She shrugs. “Whatever it is that has been bothering you since yesterday. If you are that worried about it, she needs to find out about it from you and not someone else.”

“Sometimes I wonder who is Teaching whom,” I mutter, and she giggles.

“Then we're probably doing something right,” she retorts, yanking Bastian over from his sitting position to serve as a blanket. I choose that moment to leave the two of them alone.

I want to ask Elene if she actually knows what I have been meaning to tell Caroline, but if she doesn't it would pique her curiosity, and if she does, there is nothing I can do about it, anyway. Still, the walk back to my quarters is nerve-wracking. Knowing Caroline, she is probably there, making us both dinner. Fish. All she cooks is fish, which is unsurprising given her upbringing. But at least Oceanans get creative with it, so I have yet to get bored. Not like Newearth cooking. I got sick of that years ago.

“Desmond, everything settled?” She calls as I enter the door and slip off my shoes.

“Yes, the seeders got a supervised interview, and as far as I know are leaving campus.”

“I like the way you phrased that.” She hands me a cup of tea with a smile. When I don't return it, she raises an eyebrow. “So what's wrong?”

I sigh. “I've been meaning to tell you something. I haven't been able to because I didn't want to be a liability to you, but if things go badly with Seamus and Asha it's going to come out anyway.”

Her face goes still, and she moves to program the stove so she can focus on me and not the cooking. I wordlessly grab my mug and hers and walk to the dining table. She joins me after a moment and stares at me candidly.

“Is this what you have been hiding from me all year?”

I nod and take a nervous sip of tea.

“And why risk letting me in​?”

I set my mug down and look directly at her flecked hazel eyes. “You're important to me, Caroline. I trust you, and I want to keep you around. There's no way you're going to let me do that unless I let you in.”

She nods. “You're right, but I can be patient if you need me to.”

I shake my head. “No, Caroline. I really do think it's time for you to learn everything that happened the three years I spent deployed on Old Earth.”

She crosses her legs under the table and leans toward me, hands supporting her chin. “Okay, I'm listening.”

Now all I have to do is find the words.