Chapter Twelve: Aki's Rage

My wristband beeps urgently at me as I make my way toward the refugee camp. It's the Admiral's office. The feeling this gives me is somewhat less than excellent.

“Doyle here,” I say crisply, moving to the side of the path. I suddenly doubt very much that I will be spending all morning with the Midbarans as I had planned.

“The Admiral would like to see you, Officer.” It's the same assistant that I bullied last time.

“When?”

“Now.” If I didn't know better, I'd say this situation pleased her.

“Tell her I am on my way, then.”

The transmission ends there, and I turn around and begin walking to the administrative buildings, which are on the other end of the campus from the camp. I personally think they should be right next to one another so my stuffy superiors can see just whom they are making sleep in tents while families of the students here get dorm rooms. Asha and Elene are sharing a room now so more room could be freed in other halls through student relocations, but we do not yet have enough total space. In another two weeks, perhaps, if the administration would stop stalling. For now, all I can do is talk to them, get them medicine if they need it. Tell them we're working as hard as we can, even though we clearly are not.

Perhaps this is what has caused Aki to summon me. I haven't exactly been subtle about my disdain for the priorities of my superiors. More than likely I am about to be threatened again and told to rethink my attitude. This time, it will be a bluff for sure. Asha's first week of classes is going, with the exception of the first day, better than anyone could have hoped. The non-empathic students love her. She's making friends. And I am finding from the instructor's reports that she has learned a great deal more than I thought. Reid was right on that point, an admission which gives me no small amount of shame.

When I arrive at the office, the assistant has the door open and waiting. I walk into Aki's office and find her standing with her back to me, gazing out the window at the Arboretum. Her hands are clasped tightly at the small of her back, and her posture is rigid. I've known her long enough to be able to identify her focus—something must be making her scattered today. It suddenly occurs to me that there may be a very good reason why the camp is so far away from this building. There are a great deal of upset empaths on this campus right now.

“You wished to see me, Admiral?” I say by way of greeting, though I am sure she felt me enter the room.

“I was wondering if there was anything you wished to report concerning your youngest Type Three, Desmond,” she replies, still staring out the window. She is using my first name. We are off the record. This is a bad sign.

“Not particularly, Admiral. She started classes this week, and seems to be doing well overall.”

Aki turns from the window and fixes me with a look of sincere displeasure. “I do not appreciate being lied to, Desmond.”

I can't help but being taken aback. She feels my confusion and sighs impatiently, moving to her desk. “This!”

The video recording of Asha's first day of class begins to play, and even though I have seen it six or seven times by now, I watch it with her. Asha is sitting in a chair on the left side of the room, a long, low table between her and the instructor. Her instructor is in front of the inactive monitor panel, and is frowning at Asha. The students present look exceptionally awkward.

“Asha,” the instructor, Amita, says, “You need to connect with me during lessons so I can make sure you are paying attention.”

Asha shakes her head, swaying gently as she always does. “I am sorry, instructor. Desmond told me I have to stay myself, and alone, or I won't be able to stay focused.” Her voice is so soft it barely registers in the file. A student at the back of the room leans forward to catch her voice more clearly.

“Asha, it's a rule. We can't start class until you follow the rules.”

“He was supposed to talk to you. I can't.” Her voice takes on an edge of agitation.

“Well, he hasn't, so please do it my way today so we can get started.”

Asha shakes her head more vigorously. “I will not be able to listen if I do this. I can't.”

“Asha, I do not want you disrupting my class on the first day.”

“Then you should listen to me and move on,” she snaps, looking around the room. “Where is Nanda? He can tell you. Why is he not here?”

Amita raps her nails on the desk. “Don't change the subject. I was told you were ready for this, Asha.”

“And I was told you would understand.”

“Enough!” Amita begins, but is cut off by the arrival of Nanda, clearly in a rush.

“Excuse me, instructor, but I have a message from Asha's Teacher. He ran into me in the cafeteria and realized he had forgotten to send you Asha's case file, so he wants to make sure you know to check your wristband before class...” Nanda offers her a timid smile and moves quickly to sit beside Asha. The other students stare openly at them both while Amita looks her band over quickly. Once finished, she glances at Asha, then resumes class as though nothing has happened. She is just beginning to explain the course of the day's lesson when Aki cuts the recording short and gives me a pointed stare.

“Aki, I did not think this was a great enough issue to bring to your attention. Asha can certainly use a little training on diplomacy, but she is only in her first year, and the situation was resolved quickly. Futhermore, the entire debacle was my fault, really.”

She shakes her head and begins to rewind the feed. “That is not the issue here, Desmond. I am not upset over a simple communication error. What concerns me is this.” She freezes the recording on Amita's face. “Amita is the most patient, unflappable instructor we currently have working at the University. That is the exact reason why we assigned both Asha and Nanda to her.”

I nod. This is not news.

“So please tell me why, given this information, she looks as though she is about to start screaming over an admittedly minor mistake?” Aki snaps again, zooming in on Amita's face and bringing it into clear focus. Her dark eyes are narrow and her teeth are bared in an almost feral fashion.

“Does that look like the face of a patient woman to you?”

I shake my head, and realize with a sinking feeling where this is going. “No, Admiral, it does not.”

“Do you know whose face it does look like, Desmond?”

I don't answer because I don't need to—she has already pulled up a close-up of Asha's face at that very moment. Their expressions are eerily similar.

“I saw this on the day it happened, and it got me to thinking, Desmond. So I decided to do a little more digging. Do you remember that day you oh-so-idiotically stormed in here and demanded we reassign her?”

I look at the floor. We both know that is a rhetorical question, and I am dreading what is going to happen when she gets to her point.

“Well, I pulled up the video from that day's training session. Would you say she was more agitated than usual?”

“Yes, I would.”

Aki slams both hands down on the desk and leans forward at me menacingly. “Do you see where I am going with this, Desmond?”

I don't respond.

“Desmond!” When she sees I still have no intention of responding, she continues speaking. “Were you aware before this meeting that Asha is a natural seeder?”

“I had no conclusive proof,” I say carefully.

“But you did have your suspicons?”

“Yes.”

“And why was I not made aware of these suspicions?”

“Because I wanted to be sure before I brought them to your attention.”

“I am unconvinced. I believe you would never have told me at all, even if you had come to a conclusion on your own.” She frowns at me. “I could confirm this for myself and see if you did already know and are lying to me, but I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and respecting your privacy.”

“How generous of you, Admiral.”

“Watch your tone, Doyle. I am far from pleased with you.”

“I fail to see how this is my fault.”

“Fault? No,” she sighs, slumping into her desk chair and motioning at last for me to sit down across from her. I ease into the chair cautiously and wait for her to continue speaking.

“Desmond, this is a problem.”

“I disagree.”

“She's seeding people almost incessantly! How is this not a problem?”

“She's not doing it intentionally, as we are both aware. That makes all the difference.”

Aki points at the screen again. “Spare me the semantics. The results are the same.”

I shake my head. “No, they are not. If Asha were doing this on purpose, it woud be an enormous problem. It would be a crime. But she is still learning how to control her emotions, and so situations occasionally get out of hand. In another year, this won't happen at all.”

Aki shakes her head. “How do you know she's not doing it on purpose?”

I give a short laugh. “Aki, I spend a great deal of time with her. I'd like to think I know my own student. Also, her good moods are just as infectious, and I know you don't need me to tell you how much of an asset that can be.”

She gives me a long stare. “I am not entirely sure you are being objective, Desmond.”

“Well, Aki, that was one of the dangers of assigning me to her, wasn't it?”

“Think about what you're saying! She has seeded you and an instructor, and you're telling me it's not a problem!”

“I can't believe you're the one having this argument with me, Aki. Shouldn't you of all people understand that there is a distinction?”

“Yes, I do, but most people will not. That is my point.”

“Most people don't need to be made aware of this.”

Aki sighs and rubs at her temples. “Did I hear that right? Are you telling me to cover this up?”

“No, I am telling you to see this for what it is. If I think it is becoming a real problem, you will be the first to know.”

“Perhaps.”

“Aki, she is not going to start seeding people on purpose!”

“Desmond!” Aki points in the direction of the refugee camp. “You already know how much trouble we are in politically over the help we are giving the Mibarans. That sensationalist lawyer bastard Rayland is clamoring for my head already.”

She doesn't have to continue—I know where this is going. If Asha did seed somebody, and word got out that we knew she had been doing it, the Fleet would be committing political suicide.

“Surely you're not suggesting we send her back,” I say at last.

Aki shakes her head. “No, we can't do that. It would cause too many questions to be asked.”

“I was mostly thinking about how unfair it would be to her,” I say blandly.

Aki starts, and then sighs again. “You know what I mean, Desmond.”

I lean into the chair and force the muscles in my back to relax.

“Have you given any thought to telling her what she's doing?”

I shake my head. “It would upset her far too much. Hearing about the seeders during the Newearth/Kiranese war drove her to tears. If I told her she was doing something similar to the people around her, it would only make the problem worse, I think.”

She purses her lips and thinks for a moment. “Well, this is a mess.”

“I can have a talk with her about better monitoring her emotions without arousing suspicion. Since she's spending far more time out in public, it would be a perfectly sensible issue to draw her attention to.”

“Do you think that will be enough?”

“It should be. Asha means well, Aki. She wants to function normally in society. If we handle this right, she may never need to be told she's a natural seeder.”

“I certainly hope so, because the other options before us are even more fucked up.”

I nod. “I'll do it, then.”

“Desmond? Do me a favor and read up on Rayland. I can't stress enough how essential it is to know your enemy.” Her fingers are back at her temples, and she looks far too tired for how early it is. In fact, she looks much like I have felt all week. Spending so much time at the camp is exhausting.

“I'll do that if you do me a favor in return,” I say casually.

She looks at me sharply. “Oh?”

“Get another dorm cleared so we have more space for the refugees.”

Aki sighs again. “You have a one-track mind, Desmond.”

“We need more room.”

“What am I supposed to do, ask the students to volunteer to share quarters?”

I stare at her. “Aki, have you actually been to the camp yet? Half our students spend their free time there helping out. Sending messages for the refugees, trying to track down family members, and so forth. I guarantee that if you asked the students to double-up, we'd have a dorm free within 48 hours, and it would be completely voluntary.”

“Alright, have it your way,” she groans. “Just keep Asha in check or we won't have a University for you to turn into a Midbaran resort.”

I stand and give her a lazy salute. “Understood, Admiral.”

“You're getting sloppy, Desmond.”

“Only when I'm off the record.”

“Out!”

I smile at the assistant as I leave, but she does not return the favor. I believe she was hoping I would exit the room in a far worse mood than I am in. Though if she were an empath, she would know instantly that the smile and the calm face is a lie. I am not pleased at all. I had been actively trying to avoid having that conversation with Aki, for the sake of Asha. It would have been better for us all had this gone unnoticed until she had progressed in her training. The more people know about this, the more danger she is in. And, as Aki so astutely pointed out, the more danger she is in, the more danger we all are in.

I have every intention of reading up on Marcus Rayland as Aki has asked me to do, but before that I need to drop by the camp. Caroline is usually there around this time, working as a translator and getting new refugees settled in. Last time we met for lunch she told me how happy she is that she's getting to put her skills to good use—she misses being a translator. Since I am the only staff member fluent in Native, I've been needed a great deal, as well. There are a few families I should check in with, at least, even if I don't spend a full day there today.

It was a waste of a walk, however, because when I arrive, there are two students already speaking with the families I wanted to check up on. Seamus is standing beside Asha, who is speaking animatedly with the half-Midbaran, half Native daughter of the Zafar family. Both girls are smiling pleasantly, and Seamus is listening with interest, which tells me Asha's mind is acting as a translator for him. Asha's diction sounds much more natural in her own language.

“Have you gone for a walk around the campus?” She asks the girl.

“Yes, I did a few days ago. It is very pretty!”

“Did you go in any of the plant-houses?” Asha uses a Native compound here instead of the Kiranese word. Her grasp of both languages has been improving dramatically recently.

“No! I did not know I could just walk in!”

Asha shrugs, a mannerism of Seamus'. “Well, I do.”

The girl giggles. “They probably think you wouldn't understand if they told you no!”

At this, Asha laughs, and for the first time I hear herself in it. Usually when she laughs, it is Elene that shines through, or occasionally Seamus. But something in this moment, this interaction, has caused the real Asha to manifest in full. The sound is sweet, gentle, and stirs a wealth of painful memories. Until I heard her just now, I was unaware of just how much I missed that style of laughter. More and more Asha is reminding me of just how much of her planet I miss. If the Fleet would allow it, I would go back in an instant. Unfortunately, I am forbidden from ever returning in a professional capacity, and civilians are not allowed to travel to the planet. So I am left skulking about the camp, helping the Natives I can find and soaking in their mannerisms. Suddenly, I am disgusted with myself.

I turn to go without greeting Asha or Seamus. They have not noticed me, which is unsurprising considering how much mental traffic Seamus must be receiving. Asha must have shut herself off from everyone but him to make sure she could remain coherent, which would explain why she and the girl are speaking aloud so consistently. It appears these two are making my normal rounds, which makes my presence superfluous. Asha laughs again, and I feel a pang of jealousy. I have been speaking with this family for weeks. They are polite, and friendly, but they never laugh or chat with me casually. Despite everything I have done to make them comfortable, they won't open up for me.