“Asha. Should start the feed pretty soon.”
Elene is just walking in from the kitchen with a large pot of tea to refill all our mugs. She brewed it stronger than usual—they all know how tired I am after my first day of classes.
I stretch, grimacing as Seamus' knee digs into my spine. All four of us flinch at the sensation. I try to remember what feed Bastian is talking about.
Elene giggles. “You said you wanted to be kept up to date on politics, right? Well, there's a lawyer pushing to remove more of our rights, and start deporting the refugees we've given space here.”
“Figure that counts.” Bastian looks down at me.
I blink a few times to clear my head, but Seamus pulls me into a sitting position because I will wake up more quickly that way.
“Maybe if you hadn't gotten into a fight with the instructor on your first day, you'd have energy,” Bastian says with a grin.
I sigh. The woman had deserved it and they know it. As soon as I had gotten out of class we'd all reconnected and they had learned the entire story instantly. He keeps teasing me, however, because he is not used to the idea of me being confrontational.
“Where's your knight in shining armor?” Seamus asks, trying to keep me awake.
“Upstairs doing homework.”
“Pshh. No wonder I can't feel him. Let me guess—he wants to do the work himself instead of just learning the material from us upperclassmen?”
I nod.
“Well, he should come down and celebrate with us! This was a big day for you!” Seamus tugs on my braid. Elene and I glance at one another, and Bastian rolls his eyes.
“Are you two still fighting, Asha?”
I frown at him. The incident he is referring to had occurred six weeks ago. Nanda and I were speaking again within days. There had been a few tense moments since, but the look Elene and I had shared was unrelated. Nanda felt I had handled the encounter with the instructor poorly today, and had asked me afterward if I was sure I was ready for classes.
“Just trying to keep you safe,” Bastian says in a quiet voice. His thoughts are dark, and for a brief moment I see the girl that haunts him so often. Wavy black hair, brown eyes, soft smile. Someone to protect. Someone he couldn't protect. My breath catches in my throat and Seamus grabs me by the hand reassuringly. Elene gives Bastian a quick hug, and almost instantly his pain fades from us both.
“This doesn't seem like the party I was promised,” says a dry voice from the entryway. We jump and turn to look behind us.
“Reid, you really need to stop that!” Elene chides.
“What are you doing here?” Bastian glowers up at him and is met with a humorless smile.
“I've been initiated to the club, it seems. Asha invited me over tonight. She used her wristband and everything. You should be proud, Bastian!”
Bastian turns to me, displeased, but I shake my head.
“No, Asha. We need to talk upstairs, please.”
Reid moves to sit down, but Bastian stands and blocks his way. I discover they are the same height, but Bastian is far more muscular. Beside him, Reid looks sapling slender.
“Don't get comfortable.” He turns on his heel and heads for the stairs. After a moment, I follow. Out of the corner of my eye I see Reid settle onto the cushion next to Seamus and strike up a conversation.
Once upstairs, Bastian pulls me to him by my forearm and glares down at me. His fingers dig into my skin like Nanda's when he is frustrated with me.
“What do you think you are doing, inviting him here?”
“Bastian, let her arm go!” Elene shouts from downstairs. He starts and releases me guiltily.
“I like him. He is lonely. He is easy for me to be around, and good practice for speaking.”
“He's a poison, Asha!”
I shake my head. “I trust him. I know you don't, but.”
“Anyone who shuts us out by force and pretends to be something he is not has something vile to hide.”
“Or does not want to admit how hurt he is.”
“Asha, he's trying to be like them.”
I stare up at his icy blue eyes, confused, and see flashes of people arc through Bastian's mind. A man on a shuttle in a suit with a thin mouth. He doesn't want to be there. With an empath. A dark, wavy-haired man with brown eyes and a moustache, yelling. Uniforms. Countless men in uniforms.
“I can't hate them like you do, Bastian.” I say softly, and look down at the dark carpet lining the hallway, trying to shut his images and emotions out. My fists are clenching all the same.
“They hate you, Asha.”
“I am used to being hated.” The calmness of my reply startles him.
He sighs and places a hand on my shoulder, heavily. “We really need to get together and spend some time filling each other in on our pasts, don't we?”
I nod.
“Been wondering who the angry man with the dark eyes is. Never in your head long enough for me to figure it out,” he says gently.
“And I would like to know about the girl with the pretty smile.”
Bastian's hand retracts as if my skin has suddenly become sun-touched metal. I want to hug him, but I am not Elene. She tells me to change the subject, so I do.
“Please tolerate Reid, Bastian. For me.”
He sighs. “Long as you didn't invite Keven, too.”
I shake my head. “He spends too much time thinking about my hair loose. It is disconcerting.”
Bastian flips my braid over my left shoulder. “Got a lot of hair. Can't blame him for being curious. I'm curious!”
“It is different when he thinks about it.”
“He's a womanizer, Bastian,” Seamus calls up to us.
“I hope you're not talking about me,” I hear Reid mutter.
Nanda opens his door and stares at us both from under his messy hair. “What is going on?”
“Party!” Bastian says brightly, grabbing Nanda by both shoulders and hauling as hard as he can to drag him out of his room. “Come on down!”
“You are watching that feed,” Nanda says irritably, ducking out from under his arms in one smooth motion and returning to the doorframe. “I have homework.”
“Nanda, this is important,” Bastian says impatiently.
“So are my studies.”
I sigh and move between them. “Come down when you finish? Reid is here.”
Nanda does not find that to be much encouragement, which makes Bastian happy.
“Go back downstairs, you two.” He takes my hands in his for a moment and gives me a tired smile. He hasn't been happy in weeks, and I can't seem to fix him. Not since the fight—no matter how hard I try. Looking at Nanda makes me feel broken. We never make eye contact. He hates how well my eyes blend in here.
I return to the living room with Bastian in tow and sit down between Seamus and Reid. Seamus throws an arm around my shoulders, and Reid looks at me appraisingly.
“How's my wooden flute treating you?”
“What do you mean?” Elene and Seamus are amused by my confusion, but Bastian is annoyed by the question.
He chuckles. “Sorry, there's no way that phrasing would make sense to you. How are you liking it?”
I smile. “Very much! I have been practicing every day.”
“May I hear you play it?”
“Not tonight. My fingers are sore from all the playing I did while waiting for Desmond.”
He has been late to all our lessons recently because of all the work he is doing with the refugees. An entire dorm was cleared out for the families of the students here, past and present, and he has been fighting for another to be cleared for the sick, which he think should have been the priority in the first place. None of us disagree, so we don't mind his tardiness, and have been careful not to tease him for it. His hair has been wilder than usual, which Elene recently taught me means he is very stressed.
Reid nods at me. “Just let me know when. My schedule is freer than yours right now, it seems.” He pauses, then adds carefully “Desmond knows about it, then? What did he say when he found out I gave it to you?”
“I did not tell him it was from you,” I say softly. Seamus stiffens against me, and Elene's mind fills with shock.
Reid stares at me for a moment, then gives me a slow smile. “Don't tell me you lied.”
“I did.”
“How did it feel?” Bastian's hands are clenched as tightly has he can manage.
“I hated it.” At this, Seamus relaxes against me and gives my back a reassuring rub.
“So why did you do it at all?”
“I was worried he would be angry at you.”
“Asha, why the fuck would you lie to protect him?” Bastian asks despite himself. Elene places a hand on his arm, but he pushes it away. My head starts to spin. Seamus gives Bastian a warning glare. “She's too tired for this, Bastian.”
He turns his rage on Reid instead. “You're a poison. Teaching her to lie.”
“I did no such thing.”
“Who else did it, then?” he spits, leaning forward menacingly. My hands begin to shake.
“Desmond did,” Reid says simply.
At this Bastian half-stands, but Elene stops him with one arm. Reid gives him a wide smile.
“Bastian, it is counterproductive to let me antagonize you if you're trying to keep her calm. Look at her.” His tone is mocking and fills me with disappointment.
Their eyes find me and I realize I have dug my fingers into the cloth of Seamus' shirt so deeply that I have left runs in the weave. He does not care, but the sight makes me suddenly furious and exhausted.
“Seamus, turn the feed on, please.”
“You think that will calm things down?” Reid asks, jerking his head toward the panel.
“Reid, if you don't stop right now, I'll—“ Bastian starts, but Elene cuts him off with a sudden kiss. Seamus and I are hit by both their emotions at once and focus on each other to grapple with her fear, his outrage, and then their mutual happiness. All tension quickly dissipates, and Seamus and I are able to release each others' hands before he makes my sore fingers worse.
“Was I the only one who didn't see that coming?” Reid asks after a moment.
“No, you weren't,” Elene giggles, pointing at Bastian, whose face is scarlet. I fear for a moment that he has fallen ill, but Seamus informs me with a great deal of pleasure that he is simply blushing, which is what pale people do when they are embarrassed.
“I don't think I can blush,” I mutter to Elene.
“Want to find out?” Reid asks, leaning in slightly. I am worried this will anger Bastian again, but to my relief everyone begins to giggle. Reid does not seem pleased at this reaction, but does not press the issue further.
“The feed, then,” Seamus says, and presses a button on his wristband. The panel activates and is filled with the image of a tall, muscular man with long grey hair he has pulled back into a ponytail. His face is angular, his lips distinguished. Grey eyes. Before I can wonder where he was from, Seamus mutters “He's Kiranese. Has an empathic daughter, which makes this all even worse.”
“I'm not convinced opening our planet to any refugee that shows up in a shuttle is the most prudent course of action,” says the man on the screen. “We have a responsibility to all our citizens, including our non-empaths, and the economic burden of housing and feeding thousands of outsiders is not something we should be taking on without a vote. It's a violation of the rights of all Kiranese.” I find myself transfixed by his teeth.
“It sound so sensible, doesn't it,” Elene mutters.
“What do you mean?” I ask. I can feel her hand in Bastian's before I see it.
“He's trying to pressure the government to re-deport all the refugees. He says the University's willingness to help them is 'insidious' and 'questionable.'”
“What is wrong with helping people?”
“Lots, if you go by what he says,” Bastian growls.
“What is his name?” My eyes lock again on his teeth as they flash between syllables and words. They reflect too much light. He's spent far too much time watching himself talk in a mirror. Seamus. Suddenly I wonder what I look like when I speak.
“Marcus Rayland. Third of a line of powerful, influential lawyers for the planet.”
“Why does he want the refugees out?”
“Worried we'll gain too much power, most likely,” Bastian replies.
We. Empaths. Nanda's mind slides gently into mine, and I glance up to find him standing at the bottom step. I beckon him over and he sits at my feet. I wrap my arms about him, seeking comfort, and he takes my hands in his. Reid watches us both with sharp eyes.
“He is a predator,” Nanda says softly.
“What?” Reid turns his eyes back to the panel.
“Look at the way he stands. He is attacking.”
“Get used to it, Nanda. People attack people out here in the civilized worlds.” Reid turns back to Nanda, but does not receive a response. His mind is in too much turmoil to speak aloud. I tighten my arms about him and stifle a shudder as Marcus' teeth flash again.
“Turn it off,” Nanda mutters suddenly.
Bastian's head jerks sharply in his direction, and I feel suddenly irritated with Nanda. Oh no. There are too many people and I am getting too tired to keep my emotions mine. I could close myself off, but it would upset them and I'd be lonely. Seamus gives me my focus back and runs his hand along my back again. I take several deep breaths, and the moment passes. Elene looks at me, beaming with pride, and Seamus gives me a supportive squeeze.
“Nanda, you really should know about this,” Seamus says gently.
“I do,” he murmers, pointing at me. The screen shuts off while the lawyer is in the middle of accusing Oceanus and Newearth of refusing to take on their equal share of refugees.
“As if there is any room on Newearth for more people,” Reid mutters, and Bastian silently agrees. “They've reinstated the child limit laws again, and the government gives tax breaks to anyone who undergoes a sterilization surgery. None of this is uncommon knowledge.”
It is to me, but Elene is speaking, so I do not.
“My mother sent me a message yesterday. Oceanus is building several camps for the refugees, which can be modified into proper towns as things settle down. But building on my hometown takes months!” She thinks of rust and flooding, and of the great fish that occasionally eat the workers if they stray too far from the safety zones around the platforms. Elene's mind makes me fear water.
“It really is up to us,” Seamus says sadly. “At least for now. And he has to know that.”
“How are things here, with our refugees, Seamus?” Reid asks.
“They're doing fine. I've had to stop accepting gifts for the help I give in the kitchens. I'm running out of room to keep them all.”
“I wish I could go with you,” I sigh. I've been saying it for six weeks, but the answer is always no from everyone.
“If you keep holding your own in classes, I'd say you were ready.” My glee infects him, and he begins to talk faster like he does when he is happy. “There are several Natives in the camp that could use some help—none of the Native students here will have anything to do with them. They just stay in their dorm and refuse to help.”
Nanda shakes his head. He'd spent some time talking to the other Native students during our fight, and was sad to discover he had little in common with them and how decidedly blind they were to the worlds. He resents me for how much he has changed, but he also resents them for how little they are willing to, so I have hope.
“I am not sure they would be happy to see me, Seamus,” I say carefully, but he laughs and shakes his head.
“These are Natives who left their planet willingly. Many of them are married to Midbarans and have half-breed children. They would love you!” he gives me another squeeze, and I smile up at him.
“Desmond's been helping them a lot, according to Caroline,” Reid says. “I had no idea he was fluent in your tongue, Asha.”
I nod. “He has no accent. He lived on my planet for three years, I believe.”
Reid considers this for a moment. “Do you know when?”
“No, we never talk about it. Why?”
He doesn't answer, but Elene shakes her head at him. “We agreed we'd drop it, Reid. Let Desmond have some privacy.”
“Sorry, I just want to know why she's so special.”
Seamus laughs loudly and tugs at my braid again. “Reid, isn't it obvious? Look at her! She's smart—keeps outdoing me at everything—funny, eager. Absolutely gorgeous!” His words make me feel embarassed, but Bastian informs me sheepishly that no, I do not blush. For the first time, however, I am able to see my eyes as something other than a blemish. I like the me that lives in Seamus' perspective.
Reid gives me a candid stare and falls silent. Elene takes the chance to change the subject. “I haven't seen Diane in days. Do we have any word on her parents?”
Seamus' mind and face grow dark. “No. We've no word at all. Caroline is beside herself. There have been scattered reports of piracy and other shuttle attacks, but we're beginning to think they got lost. The Midbaran government has been cramming empaths into anything they can, short range or long range. If they didn't have the proper transport...”
We all envision her family at the same time, adrift, dying. Afterward, it feels impolite to speak. I pull Nanda closer, and we both are comforted by Seamus. The image horrifies them less because they've understood all their lives that this is a way to die. I never imagined when I was young, looking up at the night sky, unaware that the other planets even existed, that amidst all those flecks of light there could be corpses. Had I known then, the night would have given me far less comfort.
Elen refills our tea, and we all sip in silence.
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